Healing Tree

I last posted on October 13. Can't believe it! Where have I been? Somewhere between Halloween, working, getting office ready to move downstairs, getting ready for a trip to Alabama, thinking about kindergarten for Asher, working, volunteering grant writing services, beginning in a book club, going to Alabama, coming back to blown up (figurative) office in which I could not work for a week, coming back to office that sorely needed my organization skills, getting ready for Christmas . . . and now, here, sitting in my lovely office (all mine! I used to share).

I remember fun things in the last two months like getting my five mountain ski pass, researching schools for Asher, witnessing the approval of our district's Montessori charter school, getting to know a whole group of women in Boulder through a book club (which has been interesting when sprinkled with comments like, "Ooooh, I would never send my child to daycare. You must get a nanny or au pair" and having an argument about the religion behind Waldorf school. I'm so sure! And don't even test me on education philosophies!), trick or treating in 60 degree weather, taking Asher to his first swim lessons (the boy is fearless in water), navigating Michael's hours being temporarily reduced at work due to the economy and lack of bank lending, manning the home front while Michael has traveled stateside and to Haiti (and making Michael promise he'll take me some day soon), and enjoying Thanksgiving and the coming of Christmas.

We had one of the best trips we've ever had to Alabama over Thanksgiving. I enjoyed a wonderful feeling of homecoming (after I got over great anxiety of returning to the place where much yick started), being with a family I've known now for 13 years, and watching my kids with their many cousins and Behmer family.

The Thanksgiving trip continues a theme of healing in my life. Michael and I have had great (close to miraculous because only God could manage this) healing in our relationships and own lives as we figure out how to better love one another and more things to love. How much I enjoy our time as a family (though it's a bit crazy being pulled in three directions - wish I was more ADD) and the time I get to sit down with Michael over a pint or a good meal and talk on the heartside. Our continued trading of weekends with Clare have been a wonderful respite.

I was lying in bed last night (and not because our cat decided he must go outside in the below freezing weather) agonizing about Monday and returning to work. I've worked for the same organization for over 2 1/2 years (3 in March). This is the longest I have ever worked anywhere. While there isn't really any way to go up in my position, I do have the freedom to learn more about my position. Even so . . . I tend towards getting antsy and ready to move on. I start tossing around different scenarios for work and returning to my age old quest of figuring out what the hell my career is meant to be. So there I was, lying in bed, and starting to ask God where He wants me (because that's really what I want to know). A calm settled over me, and I came to understand He wants me in a place to heal. My work comes naturally to me so it's not overly taxing though enjoyable in how much variety I can bring to it. I can do this work, help support the family, and heal.

Last night, I started to think about the number of non-work projects I've taken on (volunteering for two organizations to do grant writing, talking about taking on two possibel paid positions in grant writing, continuing volunteering with the youth conference) and figured I needed to wrap some of them up and spend time healing. My body is worn out with two years of stress, and it's time to get physically healthy and mentally more healthy.

We'll see how that goes . . . I like things to be complicated (so much easier to focus on other things). Maybe I'll try light or color or energy or crystal healing. So many options in dear Boulder.

(Note: The tree is a healing tree! Gotta love it. I could try tree hugging heeling. Or ski healing.)