Plexi, Plexi

I remember some time in high school my mom commenting one morning before school as i took my time in the kitchen making breakfast, eating it standing at the counter, packing my bag, that I don't like to be rushed. This was surprising to hear but so true - I don't like to be rushed. I like to have the time I want to think about what I'm doing and to do things in a calm manner. Calm. Peace. They can be idols for me - peace above all else. But there are times when I don't have the time or the peace I desire, and I have to force myself, dig in and speed ahead - usually with tears and a scream of, "I don't want to deal with this." Maybe this is why I hyperventilated as a kid when I swam in a race (not a pretty sight).

I've been flirting with the idea - like a bee looking for just the right flower - of getting back into some kind of regular exercise. I get lots of sprinting exercise - to the kitchen for food or milk or towels for the kids during meals, to different places in the house and yard to pick up a screaming child, and between the car and the house in the mornings (to get milk (check), a spaceship, ninja, and Lego man (check), blankets (check), another blanket (check), my sunglasses (check)). But after my lovely hike up Twin Sisters, I realized I wanted to do more and to get this body I've been given into action. I was waiting for just the right time, not rushing into it (maybe waiting for an engraved invitation), and then - spurred by Michael starting to ride his bike to Boulder and by a beautiful evening - I made a quick decision last Tuesday to just get out and, well, just do it. And it was lovely, and I went again on Thursday and can't wait to go this evening.

One of my other idols/obsessions is education. I can get sucked into a report on what works in schools like Asher gets sucked into cartoons. So as I started to look at preschools for Asher last fall, I laid out a possible plan for him and Harper - when they might go, options for them (I have to say that as much I look for the right timing and want to take my time, I do have the ability to change my plans - I love plans but can be quite flexible. So when I found out last month that a Montessori charter school may be opening in Longmont, I jumped on the bandwagon), how we would decide where to send them, backup plans (yes, Asher really is only 3, but this is an obsession). Part of this plan was for Asher and Harper to stay at the daycare they attend until fall 2009. Uuuurrrr (tires screeching). And then I got an e-mail from our daycare provider that she is closing and her family is moving to Texas - in three weeks. Not the right timing - tears and a cry of "I don't want to deal with this" and denial and disbelief. I told a potential daycare provider as she was trying to make an appointment with me for an interview that it was all just happening too fast.

"Plexi, plexi bend don't shatter" sings Jack Johnson in his word fun song "Sexi Plexi." And so it is that I learn when to bend, when not to, when to take a step back or a run outside to return to a problem or emotionally charged situation at a later time, when things don't seem to be moving too fast or when I can take my time with them so as not to shatter.